�Bart, with $10,000, we�d be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like�love!�
Funny facebook update, Homer J Simpson.
�When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep � not screaming, like the passengers in his car�
Funny facebook update,Unknown.
�I�m an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house.�
Funny facebook update,Zsa Zsa Gabor
�I remmember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.�
Funny facebook update,Rodney Dangerfield
�People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don�t realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world,� Calvin.
�Isn�t your pants� zipper supposed to be in the front?� Hobbes.
Funny facebook update,Calvin and Hobbes.
�Cheese� milk�s leap toward immortality.�
Funny facebook update, Clifton Fadiman.
�Never stand between a dog and the hydrant.�
Funny facebook update,John Peers.
�You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax, tomorrow you�ll be afraid to cough.�
– Funny facebook update, Pearl Williams.
�Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?? I�m halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh man�.I could be eating a slow learner.�
Funny facebook update, Lyndon B. Johnson.
�He�s so optimistic he�d buy a burial suit with two pairs of pants.�
�A word to the wise ain�t necessary � it�s the stupid ones that need the advice.�
-Bill Cosby
�I do not like broccoli. And I haven�t liked it since I was a little kid and my mother made me eat it. And I�m President of the United States and I�m not going to eat any more broccoli.�
-George Bush
�Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning.�
-Adam Marshall
� My son is now an entrepreneur.Thats what you are called when you dont have a job.�
-Ted Turner
�If your parents never had children, chances are you won�t, either.�
-Dick Cavett
�Hey! You have a penny on your crotch�.�
-Exclaims Kelly
�A cynic is just a man who found out when he was about ten that there wasn�t any Santa Claus, and he�s still upset.�
-James Gould Cozzens
�We are all either fools or undiscovered geniuses.�
-Bonnie Lin
�A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.�
-Albert Einstein
� To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer.�
-MAX
Best Funny Facebook Status Updates Collection
the person.Are you in a lighter mood and ready to have some laughs? These are some of the facebook status updates and will surely bring a smile on your face. Here is the best collection of funny status updates for your facebook profile
